HOW TO FIND LOVE
Finding love has never been easy, but today, it is near impossible to just find your soul mate and live happily ever after. Finding love has become a part-time job, rather than a natural process that brings happiness. Just when you think you’ve found the right one, the red lights begin to show up. If you’ve watched the reality show “Famously Single,” then you’d understand that love does not discriminate.
The show features, rich and famous people, in their thirties, yet they’re unable to find love. It’s as if Cupid has taken a leave of absence or he is just taking his sweet time with the matchmaking process, or maybe we’re are searching in all the wrong places. Here are four reasons why finding love has become a wild goose chase.
THE DATING SITES MENACE
“Dating is not about swiping left or right…get out and meet people”, so says Terri Coles in her article “11 Practical ways to date in 2017”, which was published on Huffington Post. Dating sites have ironically made dating more complex. Most of the people who tried these sites and apps ended up disappointed.
This is where you meet all the creeps. As you’re busy looking for love on a dating site, others are just looking for hookups, “I’ve met people who send me nudes and others who ask for sexting, yet I’m here to meet my soulmate” says Alice, a disappointed user of dating apps.
Such sites allow people to create deceptive profiles which, if you look at, you will be pleased, but there is more to them than they are revealing. The disappointment gets worse when you meet someone from a dating site, for a real date. People fabricate their profiles, and by the time you’re done with dating sites, your view of love becomes too sceptical.
A LACK OF CONFIDENCE
Have you ever spotted someone whom you liked, but they either failed to approach you or vice versa? It happens to a lot of people. It could be on a plane, a train, at an event, in the workplace or the mall, because these are the places where we spend most of our time.
There is almost no other way to meet people, besides where we mostly spend our time. You, however, need the confidence to turn that vague feeling of adoration and excitement into love. There is always a nagging fear of rejection that stops you from making any moves.
Sometimes people fear that they may say the wrong things or they’re not well dressed. The next time you see someone you like, remember that all you need is a simple “hi.” The conversation will flow if they’re interested in you.
UNREALISTIC CHECKLISTS WHEN FINDING LOVE
Sometimes love is elusive, but at times we are elusive. Ask a random person, what they’re looking for when it comes to love. It is impossible to find love when everyone has a long list of traits that a potential lover should possess, and another long list of red lights to look out for. For instance, women are looking for tall, dark and handsome men, who are financially stable, fun to hang out with, responsible, faithful and caring.
You will probably meet a man who is short, financially stable, boring, responsible and way too old for your liking. Men, on the other hand, are busy looking for women who are “hot,” independent, hardworking, fun, good in bed, down to earth but with a killer fashion sense, This is clearly a rare combination, that is not readily available in the market. Even though checklists help us set standards, they can be a hindrance to finding love.
TOO MANY RULES
Issues like; who texts first, who calls the most, who said I love you first, what we order on our first date, where we live, who makes more money and how many likes he/she has on instagram are cropping up in relationships more often than they should. They’re petty but are nonetheless taking important positions in our relations with others. Love is no longer about how we’re feeling.
This can be blamed on social media which has empowered virtual interactions. Such interactions have overshadowed real interactions which bring out important virtues such as faithfulness, caring, commitment, honesty, and trust, which are more important in relationships.
Conclusively, everyone is having a difficult time finding love, but this is part of the process. Interestingly, some of the most adorable relationships were not planned for. They just happened. Michelle didn’t meet Obama on a dating app; They met at the workplace where senior Michelle was tasked with mentoring junior Obama.
In a nutshell, love is not complicated, it is natural. All you have to do is let it happen by creating room for it in your heart, and you will experience true happiness.